Be Clear With What You Want

I emailed, him explaining why she won’t be with him this weekend, and then I ended it with a request.

Don’t give up on asking for what you want!

My daughter is sick, she has a fever, she’s throwing up and she’s is supposed to go to her dad’s for the weekend.  When he texts her to confirm,  she tells him she wants to stay with me because she is sick.  I mean who doesn’t want to be with their mommy, or the one who has been the nurturer, when they are  sick and need some TLC?  His response to her when she tells him she is sick and won’t be going, is “Boo”.  I don’t know maybe that is his way of saying, “Wow, Piper, that sucks that I’m not going to be able to see you.”  I can’t begin to understand what goes on in his head, but once again I feel the mamma bear coming out and needing to defend my daughter.

I just wish he would treat her like the princess she is.  But, I long ago gave up on that idea. It is, what it is, and trying to change him, by asking him for what I want usually would not go my way, and I’d end up in a tears from the frustration.

You can’t change anyone.  but I’ll be damned if I’m going to idly stand by and let him treat my daughter with the same indifference he treated me with.

I emailed, him explaining why she won’t be with him this weekend, and then I ended it with a request.  I wrote, “It would be nice if you had some kind words for Piper like, ‘I hope you feel better.’, or ‘I miss and love you.'”

He’s not a stranger to expressing his love for her, but lately, since she’s turned into a snarky teen, it seems like he’s forgotten that she still needs to hear those words and she still needs to know and feel his love for her.

I’m glad to report that the next day, he expressed his concern and love for her.  She, on the other hand didn’t want to respond, because she was mad at him.

Oy vey!!

I was pleasantly surprised, and glad I asked and he listened.

Connecting With Your Teen

Enjoy Your First Twelve Years of Parenting Your Daughter!

Enjoy your first twelve years with your daughter because when she turns thirteen, or close to it you’re no longer living with the same person.  You are now living with someone whom wakes up super cranky and mad at you.  She doesn’t want you to make her breakfast anymore because she is not hungry.  As a matter of fact she isn’t going to talk to you much unless she wants something; like food, money and a ride to the mall.  Requesting her to pull her own weight turns into a battle. Her phone becomes the proverbial football or coveted golden egg, each of us vying for control in order to set things right in the household.

I know this is somewhat normal teenage girl growing pains, but, it still hurts you as a parent. And as a single parent, you have no one to back you up and share the ride with.  I hate losing control, I hate not feeling connected and close with her, and I hate not being her number one in her life.

So, what do I do?  I cry a little when she isn’t around.  Then I think of ways to reconnect with her so as not to let her fly away too far.  I imagine her on one of those adjustable dog leashes where you can let her go further and yet pull her back in tight again. I’m always on the look-out for inexpensive ways for us to connect.

Connecting is the Key

I try to watch her favorite shows with her.

We like to cook and bake together.

We definitely like to go shopping together.

Soon we’ll be making all natural bath bombs.

Shoot me a comment and tell me some of the ways you connect with your teenage kids? 

All my best!

Hello Single Mammas!

I am by no means a perfect parent, but who is?

Join me while I try to navigate my precocious teen daughter, into adulthood with love, laughs, and lots of mistakes.

I’ve been a single mom for 13 years and I want to  reach out to more of my  fellow single moms and dads to connect and help each other hang on, and move forward through all the peaks and pits that occur while single parenting.  ( I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner)

Currently, I find myself with an urge of wanting to do something more with my life.  I hope to build this site into a place where I can share my knowledge of what’s kicked ass and what’s kicked my ass while single parenting. With so many highs and lows of parenting, being a single parent is particularly challenging but definitely doable.

All my best,