“F My Life!”

But hark along comes my knight and shining armor-my experience and my brain.

In a period of two days my air conditioning broke, my washing machine broke, I can’t renew my aesthetician’s license on line because it says my SSN and my license number don’t match and when I call the office no one answers, my checks that I ordered  a month ago haven’t been delivered to my house and when I go to the bank, she tells me they were delivered to the wrong address.

It’s days like these when you feel like pulling out your hair and screaming “ F my life!!!” from atop a mountain, because that’s the only thing that will make you feel good at the moment.

But, because I’m the eternal optimist and I do believe that problems are gifts, and when life gives you lemons….. you should try and make a lemon meringue pie!

So, as I sit waiting for another strange man in my house to give me the “bad news”, after working on an appliance, I wonder…………..what can I learn from these problems the past two days have delivered to me.

When you’re a single mom-things breaking down can be an enormous source of anxiety.  There is the money issue, if you don’t have any spare money, than you can’t fix it, or you will have to borrow money either via credit card or family or friend.

You also feel vulnerable because you don’t have any  knowledge of parts, so anyone can take advantage of you especially when you’re feeling desperate.  Like your house is 95 degrees because it’s 112 outside.

You also feel vulnerable because there is  a strange man in your house, and your thinking he’s  a serial rapist.

But hark along comes my knight and shining armor-my experience and my brain.

Here are some survival tips I have learned along the way to get me through these hard times.

  1. Get a home warranty package or put money into a fund so you will be prepared for emergencies. I have an emergency fund of 1,000.00 and its’ because I follow Dave Ramsey’s 7 Steps to financial freedom. I also use his app and budgeting tool called Everydollar to help me budget and save. The more money you have the less anxiety you feel and that goes for all aspects of your life.
  2. Use a site like Tofixit if your in AZ or Angieslist, or Yelp to hire legitimate well rated businesses. Word of mouth is also a good source and have list of helpers to be at the ready.
  3. Use the internet to gain knowledge of the parts and the appliances and how much is the running cost for such parts etc. Knowledge is power. Hell, there may be u-tube videos that can teach you how to fix the simple things like a leaky faucet, or running toilet.
  4. Trust your instincts- get a second opinion.
  5. Act like you live with others, be it man or girlfriend or roommates. It doesn’t hurt to put on a fake wedding ring, or place some size 12 shoes outside the front door. Don’t appear vulnerable.  Say things like; “I’ll have to discuss with my roommate, boyfriend, etc,  Mitch.”  Mitch sounds tough or Vinny.
  6. If you rent-lucky you, call the home owner.

If you have any tips or tricks please post them!

All my best!


Connecting With Your Teen

Enjoy Your First Twelve Years of Parenting Your Daughter!

Enjoy your first twelve years with your daughter because when she turns thirteen, or close to it you’re no longer living with the same person.  You are now living with someone whom wakes up super cranky and mad at you.  She doesn’t want you to make her breakfast anymore because she is not hungry.  As a matter of fact she isn’t going to talk to you much unless she wants something; like food, money and a ride to the mall.  Requesting her to pull her own weight turns into a battle. Her phone becomes the proverbial football or coveted golden egg, each of us vying for control in order to set things right in the household.

I know this is somewhat normal teenage girl growing pains, but, it still hurts you as a parent. And as a single parent, you have no one to back you up and share the ride with.  I hate losing control, I hate not feeling connected and close with her, and I hate not being her number one in her life.

So, what do I do?  I cry a little when she isn’t around.  Then I think of ways to reconnect with her so as not to let her fly away too far.  I imagine her on one of those adjustable dog leashes where you can let her go further and yet pull her back in tight again. I’m always on the look-out for inexpensive ways for us to connect.

Connecting is the Key

I try to watch her favorite shows with her.

We like to cook and bake together.

We definitely like to go shopping together.

Soon we’ll be making all natural bath bombs.

Shoot me a comment and tell me some of the ways you connect with your teenage kids? 

All my best!